I just finished reading “Salt In My Soul, An Unfinished Life” by Mallory Smith.The book was completed and compiled by Mallory’s mother Diane, but taken mainly from Mallory’s writings.I began this book this past summer, but it really took me some time, I had to wait until I was ready to be with it and take it in sections.It came into my life when I was ready to do some healing, some opening up of old deep in places that were ready for some light and some shared perspective.I began to write here a few times about the places I was touched from Mallory’s shares and experience. A number of times I found myself talking to her, talking to me, feeling my other friends who have passed coming back in through memory and with presence.I actually finished the book last night, on Peter’s anniversary (one of my dear loves who had CF). There was something so fitting about this. Gave me some time to meet some of what was/is there too. They (Mallory and Pete) shared the same transplant center, UPMC. The center that would take the risk on some of the high risk cepacia patients. I knew the names of the doctors and could picture the space from having been there with Pete myself.I’m still feeling the ripples and waves of the feelings percolating through my system as I digest, deepen in, and just let them be.There is more room for it all to breathe in my system than there was so many years ago.It’s hard to share in a way that others who have not walked a part of this journey might understand, but it’s so helpful to be reflected and known with and through others who know some piece with intimacy.There were so many parts of Mallory’s shares I could relate to. I found myself having so much empathy as she was doing all she could to still do all the “things of young adulthood” while managing so many health challenges. Knowing some of that myself and all that people don’t see behind the scenes that it takes to “keep up” or appear “normal”.My heart broke for her and I wanted to just reach through time and hug her or offer my hand at her back. In Mallory’s offering it gave me a window to do the same for myself and so many others.A big thank you to Mallory, her Mom, her boyfriend Jack, and her family for giving those who might read a lens to see into this world.You have made a difference and will continue to. 💜✨
