Grace windows

on Oct 17, 2017

I am the one who feels the ocean inside.  I am freedom waiting to emerge as it’s true and beautiful Self.  I am the one who is ROOT FIRE alive, soft, gentle, and bold…opening…opening…   I leak out through your Grace windows, your moments of freedom and bliss.     I am the one emerging from the undefined.  Spirit always alive.  I am here.  Let yourself come meet me.  Notice.  Enter the door to the temple and flow through… to you… and plant love, LOVE. from Here. ...

August 11th, 2017 Instructions From Love.

on Sep 27, 2017

Go go go go go… Further back. Further back beyond, before. Know This. Here there is no fever, no pain. Here there is only Awareness, aware of all the manifestations of itself. Just aware. Find This. Stay. Put your attention here for a bit. It’s ok if the world around falls apart. It’s ok. It’s ok. Don’t worry. You don’t have to hold it together. You see my love, it was never as real as what I am showing you now anyways. Love, LOVE.  

An evening in the hospital…

on Sep 1, 2017

Aug 31, 2017 St Joseph hospital room 5310 This is my favorite time of year at home- late summer. The cicada’s and summer crickets and hostas with their little fairy bells with bees buzzing in and out… The refrigerator in here makes noises that sound like crickets. So I bring my pole over to the window, climb up onto the seat, rest my head against the glass, look out into the Denver lights, and let myself hear crickets.       Did I say Denver?  Am in in the hospital in Denver right now?  So weird.  What a ride.  I had this feeling, like maybe I wasn’t going to come back home when I left my house to head to the airport…maybe I was just feeling the delay, the long stretch that would come before I would come back through our kitchen door again.  It won’t be too much longer now.  I do miss my babies. There is a lot of healing happening here. … All of this...

Sinus Health Post 2 – Diet!

on Aug 30, 2017

I had hoped to get this out sooner, but had some other health complications that needed my attention.   BUT…… now, without further ado, Sinus Health Post 2- The big D!  Diet: Changing my diet choices has been one of the most influential and powerful self care tools I have, in a huge way for my sinuses, but also for my whole body.  Now, before going any further I need to emphasize that these are diet changes that were helpful for me.  These offerings are just possibilities for you to explore and it’s important to understand that although there are certain foods that have tendencies to do certain things in a body, every body is unique. This said, my biggest recommendation is to learn what works best for you and know that sometimes, based on meds or body changes or whatever else you put into it, this can change. It’s worth taking the time to do a food journal...

Hearts Hearts Hearts Everywhere!

on Aug 28, 2017

So there’s this sweet little phenomenon that’s been happening for me.  I don’t know when it started exactly, or why I noticed and then started pointing to it.  But I did, and I’m glad.  And now the noticing is spreading like wild fire through the findings of friends and family all over. It’s well, wonderful I would say.  I’m actually considering starting my own little hearts in the world Instagram feed :)! The thing is, it’s about a lot more than just finding heart shaped things out in the world. It’s about waking ourselves up enough to notice signs of love in every day, everywhere, no matter the circumstance.  I’ve found hearts in oil stains, rain clouds, spit out old gum, puddles, flowers, leaves, food, the space between two things… they’re everywhere! For me, when I see a heart, I remember that love is here. ...

Rise Baby Rise

on Aug 3, 2017

Aug 2, 2017 I did not want to get on my bike this morning. And… About half way through the ride I get the gift. Perspective.  I am so damn lucky to be able to be doing this right now. I make it through the morning heavy and I begin to feel, to know, the pleasure in the push against the pedals. I am not fast, but I meet my own fierce. There are places on the trail where the roots of the trees have pushed up the pavement, making waves in what is not meant to move.  Some of these black top waves are so big that hitting them in just the right place could literally through you from your bike. I dodge, jump, and weave through these trees’ testaments to life, acknowledging their awesomeness. Rise baby rise! I feel my own “pavement” pushing back. Chills come as I meet todays limits and find my appreciation for all that has allowed me to come this far.  I feel some guilt too honestly, thinking...

Your Love Rays Still Shine Through My Heart, Sweet Baby Boy.

on Jul 30, 2017

Dear Little Love, We had a visit in the early morning hours while I was still sleeping. You came in my dreams.  I could still feel you in so many waking moments today. Each time a window back into the dream world would come I would try to hold it, savor it, feel just a little more, a little deeper.  Each glimpse a precious jewel of an opportunity to once again see your sweet face.  I SAW you, so clear and real in this dream. I do not think that I got to hold you or touch you.  The memory I have is just of seeing you. But I don’t remember any longing or lack around this.  Just seeing you, feeling you, knowing that “you are” was so incredible. I felt you.  I saw you smile at me. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.  You were so clearly a part of me.  This knowingness was so solid in my body and grounded in my heart. There was a completeness in feeling you....

Love(r)

on Jul 22, 2017

I took the liberty of doing a little creative editing on my CFF Cycle for Life Jersey. I did this not out of any disrespect for CFF ( I think it’s great that they are giving us jerseys this year) or for those who might identify with this language. I did this because it just doesn’t quite feel like the right fit to represent me and I want to have integrity with myself around this.   So this is me:   I do not identify as a fighter and I am not fighting CF. I am living and right now having CF is a part of that. Cystic Fibrosis is the name of a collective group of symptoms and genetic expressions that are a part of me (for now). Not some outside villain that I must conquer.   Yes having CF as part of the expression of this body has been hard. Yes I have wished I did not have it and that it was not a factor in my life at times. Yes I have felt angry and sad and frustrated due to...