I did this not out of any disrespect for CFF ( I think it’s great that they are giving us jerseys this year) or for those who might identify with this language. I did this because it just doesn’t quite feel like the right fit to represent me and I want to have integrity with myself around this.
So this is me:
I do not identify as a fighter and I am not fighting CF.
I am living and right now having CF is a part of that.
Cystic Fibrosis is the name of a collective group of symptoms and genetic expressions that are a part of me (for now).
Not some outside villain that I must conquer.
Yes having CF as part of the expression of this body has been hard.
Yes I have wished I did not have it and that it was not a factor in my life at times.
Yes I have felt angry and sad and frustrated due to it’s impact.
Yes I want more than the limitations that living with CF places on this body and others.
Yes at times I feel the desire to dig down and say NO to CF (and anything else that suppresses me) and I push (and push and push), but I do this ultimately because I love.
I love life and the ability to live it. This is what I want to support.
This is what I can authentically get behind, with my whole heart.
Because of love I have a drive for supporting life giving avenues and new possibilities of health for myself and others.
Because of love I choose to support CFF in their search for “better” for those who are living with CF. I appreciate all that they have done to this point and am optimistic about what they could do given the opportunity, funds, and man(woman/human)power.
What drives me today is not “fighting CF “, or hating CF, or any part of myself.
What drives me today is love and wanting more opportunity and time to share it.
It’s not everybody’s way. I get that. But it’s my way.
I am a lover. A lover of my life, a lover of my freedom, a lover of my health, a lover of my joy, a lover of freedom and health and joy for others.
This is where I will put my energy, efforts, and focus.
Love and gratitude,