It was strange this past week to come home and not have Jaz here in the appartement.
Something about the arriving back home made her absence more tangible again.
I actually felt her a lot while I was away. It was really wonderful to feel her travel with me in a different form. Her strong queeny spirit made herself known on multiple occasions. I’m so grateful for all the little signs.
I’m also so grateful to still have Bahni in our lives. This helps a lot. There were a number of times we thought she might actually go before her sister, but even after being through so much, our little Bahnster just keeps going. Cracked canine’s upon arrival, first benign mamarry tumors and surgery, then heart disease, three different types of cancer, a bulging disc that debilitated her for weeks, hip displaysia, some unexplained type of seizure occurrences, and all the testing and treatments that have accompanied all of these things and she is still living her best life- snoozing next to me on the couch. We do the best we can to support her sweet being, soul, and body, not always knowing, often not knowing, if what we are doing is the best. We just keep doing what we understand as the next best thing to support the totality of her.
We did the best we could for Jazzy too. I have peace with this today.
One day at a time over here for our little love filled Motley crew ;).
*Photo is of a painting from our dear friends Thom, Karee, and Sauvie (Bahni’s best friend)