An evening in the hospital…

on Sep 1, 2017

Aug 31, 2017 St Joseph hospital room 5310

This is my favorite time of year at home- late summer.
The cicada’s and summer crickets and hostas with their little fairy bells with bees buzzing in and out…

The refrigerator in here makes noises that sound like crickets.

So I bring my pole over to the window, climb up onto the seat, rest my head against the glass, look out into the Denver lights, and let myself hear crickets.




Did I say Denver?  Am in in the hospital in Denver right now?  So weird.  What a ride.  I had this feeling, like maybe I wasn’t going to come back home when I left my house to head to the airport…maybe I was just feeling the delay, the long stretch that would come before I would come back through our kitchen door again.  It won’t be too much longer now.  I do miss my babies.

There is a lot of healing happening here. …

All of this has been kind of surreal.

I did not give up when it seemed impossible. I got here.

Or maybe Life got me here, but I just kept showing up, meeting it, meeting it all.

And then… a whirlwind. A game time decision…I’m staying and I’m about to experience the whole enchilada. I wanted to go home. I did not want to be hospitalized.

And…when I stopped and paused I felt into what I was doing here, I felt the deep knowing that this is part of it.

How often have I made the hard choice because it felt like the only way to truly say yes to my life in that moment?

There were tears my first night, some doubt from my mind, and yet, the heart that shows up continued to do so. And now we are here. Me and my heart and my loved ones in this swirl. We do not know when or how we will be turned out next, but we are here.
And for this I have a thank you.  A thank you? A thank you.

Softening into guidance, trust, (and letting go of some hurt) the little one is held. The adult woman knows she is showing up and can and will.

There is a lot of healing happening here.
There is a lot of healing happening here.