I sometimes have these time periods in my life where I really feel the preciousness of the moments that I get to live.
I think the first time that I really started recognizing this feeling or having this awareness, that I can remember, was when I was in third grade. I remember walking home from school with my friends and thinking, this moment, with these people, with this feeling, will never happen again. I remember intentionally taking in that time, savoring it in it’s preciousness.
I think I’ve always had an underlying appreciation for life, but there are time periods where it’s so tangible, in the forefront of my experience.
Sometimes it’s been time with friends or family. Watching my little sister dance, or taking my little brother trick or treating, as a tiny peanut, in his fire fighter costume come to mind. Celebrating people who were strangers 48 hours before, now dear chosen family, take a leap of faith while at Shalom Mountain. A horse back ride with my mom, a snuggle with my kitty or pup, a last glance at our sweet little yard at our home back in Rochester. Time at the lake…
Once I open this door in my heart to recalling this feeling so many experiences and times start to pour through.
But there are time periods in my life where this knowingness, the preciousness is, like I said, more in the forefront than others. I seem to be in one of these times in my life now. I have no idea how long it will last at this level of potency, but I welcome it.
I’m feeling more and more lately the awareness that what is now will not always be (at least in the way of form).
I’m feeling it especially with Rick lately.
It brings me to such a tender space, this knowingness that what we have, what we are now, will change. There will be a day when I cannot snowboard or ride my bike with him. There will be a day when this apartment will not be our home and we will not be able to climb the stairs or walk the dog together. There will be a time when Jazzy kitty will no longer chase her laser or head-but me in the morning. There will be a time that we can’t take hikes or lay in bed together.
This knowingness does not make me sad.
This knowingness reminds me of the absolute gift that these moments are.
This knowingness wakes me back up to the preciousness that’s in front of me and reminds me to drink in and savor.
This knowingness whispers in my ear…”don’t miss it”.
It’s this knowingness that used to keep me up looking at the stars for as long as I could keep my eyes open into the night as a teen and young adult.
And it’s what kisses my eyelids when I get to drift to off to sleep next to my love these precious days.
So now, I whisper to you… who is All in your many forms, a gentle reminder. “Don’t miss it”.
It’s right here for you, in this unique precious moment in time, right now, and the pristine and intricate beauty of It will change, as all things do, to some other form of beauty, beloved in it’s own way, yet different.
To know and acknowledge impermanence is to know preciousness.
So don’t be afraid to see it.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t waste your unique lens of Heart going numb.
There’s so much “gift” in each of our moments.
Let’s drink deep and know this in our hearts.