on Dec 26, 2020

Dear 2020,

You have taught me a lot. (On that note, the last number of years has actually, but you dear 2020, were the level 200 course.)

I’ve learned who will be there when push comes to shove.

I’ve learned that some who say that they care, when faced with being inconvenienced, or really having to take a look at their impact, actually don’t.

I’ve learned who is willing to stay and have the tough conversations and who just won’t.
I’ve learned that I am one of the brave people who can.

I’ve listened, observed, and seen true colors.

I’ve learned and had tested, the limits of my people pleasing and peace making.
I’ve learned a bit more about what finally takes me to a place where I say enough is enough and walk away.

My discernment has strengthened, but so has my ability to hold a thoughtful perspective that is not the same as mine.

I’ve seen where my own judgement has shown up and how that can manifest… and then where I can make a choice about what to do with that.

I have a lot more respect for a genuinely thoughtful person.
I have made a promise to myself to invest less in trying to maintain relationships with those who can’t, or won’t, aspire to be one.

Those who I consider my inner circle is now smaller, much smaller, but I trust myself more.
I’m grateful for the golden rays of light, those loving, supportive, and thoughtful people that DO show up.
Sometimes tattered and torn, but here, in it with their hearts and actions.

I’ve had a good, hard look at myself, and those around me.
I’ve been listening and taking it all in.
I may have chosen silence at times, but your unveiling has not gone unnoticed.

I hear and see your wisdom ripples.
You have changed me.
I will be different in 2021 because of my dizzying dance with you.

So thanks 2020.
You’ve been a challenging, call it like it is, teacher.
But then again, I’ve always eventually risen to the occasion with teachers like you.

Photo by Sourav Mishra from Pexels